BIDEN TAPS TRANS-SPECIES MANBEARPIG TO REPLACE "TOO WHITE" FEMALE CHIEF OF US FOREST SERVICE4/12/2021
Since the day Biden's constituents realized they would get away with stealing the election, they have been demanding that the very white Chief of US Forest Service Vicki Christiansen be replaced.
Forest Chief Vicki Christiansen being grilled by congress about why she has to be so white and racist
After it was scientifically proven by unknown sources and then reported by At&t/Time Warner's CNN, trees were found to be racist. So Chief Christiansen was grilled by congress about why she cared so much about trees, and asked why she supported white supremacy's air making dog whistles.
Vice President* Harris laughed when asked about the nominee, saying that bigoted Americans should appreciate trans-species beings and not try to "hog" all the power for themselves.
Republicans plan to "grill" ManBearPig about his public statements on how Brown Bears should be able to attack campers whenever they want. ManBearPig is on record saying that campers deserved to be jacked because of white supremacy and because they ain't brown. ManBearPig is also under fire for trying to ban hog hunting in all forest, saying quote:
"Them damn farmers and white landowners have enough room. Just let those pigs be." When asked why the hogs are attacking black landowners property as well, ManBearPig said: "Well those are just coons anyway, uncle tom landowners should have to break off some space and share those reparations." When reminded that he was part white and technically only a quarter black, ManBearPig said: "So what, I'm trans-species. I am super oppressed" Many hunters have sent a warning message to ManBearPig showing defiance of orders that are already in place, but that MBP plans to put all over the nation.
When The President's* Press Lady was asked if there was any reason why the admin would choose such a dangerous and obviously not human candidate for the forestry chief, Jen Psaki replied:
"We are happy that President* Biden's picks for everything are so diverse and less white than usual. It is something this admin has promised to do and Joe intends to do just that." Psaki was then asked when she was being replaced since she is obviously white too, and Psaki said: "I will have to circle back on that"
Jen Psaki answers questions from the media about the new US Forestry Chief candidate
This article is satire. Thanks for playing.
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