In the early 1900's, AstraZeneca once worked on a trial vaccine to prevent people from becoming gay, what they called "faggotry". This is way back when before they were known as AstraZeneca, a company founded in 1999 through the merger of the Swedish Astra AB and the British Zeneca Group.
Tested on children, it was actually useless because there is no such thing as gay, lesbian, or trans. Just evil Men and Women.
After several deaths, and extreme side effects that were much like a truth serum, they cancelled the vaccine, but never did apologize until now. Examples of side effects were urges to stand on tables and yell into crowds that you didn't have to be a fag, and also males would say honest things they were thinking to Women randomly, things like "nice rack" and boys would tell their friends things like, "Your mom is super hot". For the girls, they would fall in love with male musicians or celebrities of the opposite sex, and tell their friends what crush they would want to marry.
Soon, people realized that this was actually normal behavior for normal people, and they decided they didn't need the vaccine anyways. Astra AB stopped working on that vaccine, and AstraZeneca just issued an apology: "We are sorry that our really dumb idea, much like all other ideas we have, was a bad one. Please still take our vaccines, disregard all side effects"
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These days, with "faggotry" on the rise, and the radical homosexuals constantly trying to recruit for their minority cause, many "lgbt" groups have lobbied AstraZeneca (AZ) to make a straight vaccine. Since most of their own ideas were not so great, AZ plans to consider this option to please at least somebody. AZ is actively working on a straight vaccine for the human population. Many evil people have said that if it's makes people less "homophobic" or "transphobic" then its worth whatever side effect comes with it, even death. When asked, one anonymous crazy demonrat said:
"If it can help our people, and our lgbt movement, perhaps even make more of the black lives matter folks to be less straight, then I don't care what the stakes are."
This article is satire. Thanks for playing.
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